Rediscovering Me
Last night I finally broke down in tears about the restlessness and discontent that has been in my heart. Josh was so patient and kind as he helped me figure out what was bothering me. I realized that I am coming into a new season in my life. Josiah was one at the end of July, he's all done nursing, he and Emma are starting to enjoy a little friendship, Emma wants to do all kinds of things by herself, I don't remember the last time I had to get up in the night to help them, my period is regular, I'm almost back to my old size. I'm starting to be me again. I'm going out of survival/crisis mode and into this is normal life mode. I have normal energy levels again, and amazingly enough I have gone several days in a row without a nap. I don't know when that has happened since college. It's a very strange feeling. This morning I got up at 6 and had a quiet time. I haven't done that since I got married three and a half years ago. As I'm writing this out I am realizing that it might not make sense that I was crying about it. I've really been the pace setter for our family the past three years. All of a sudden I realized that the family was still going at the new baby pace and I was ready to pick it up some. I was getting bored with always watching movies and taking naps in my spare time. (Amazing, I haven't felt bored in at least two years, I'm usually too tired to be bored) I told Josh I wanted to do something fun with him, something more interesting than watching movies. Then came the big realization. We began to make a list of our common interests, aside from the children, to decide what we could do to spend time together. We came up with two things. I was shocked, and scared for a minute. So much for my declaring to Tammy back in college days that I should surely marry Josh because we're like the same person! Do you know what I was thankful for at that moment? Two couples we know very well. Both have been married over twenty five years, both have happy and successful marriages. As I thought about them though I could see that in both situations they are different people, with different interests but common values, making life work together. I felt that it was OK that I wasn't interested in congas and reggae. I like to read and sew. I like athletic pursuits and Josh likes to make CD's. That's OK. I am thankful though that we have decided to spend some time pursuing our two common interests together. I don't want to be one of those couples who have nothing to talk about except the children. I hope that Josh will always be my best friend. At any rate, I am feeling much more peacful now that I know what was wrong and we can work on it together. I'm also excited to feel alert and ready to enjoy life.
guilty pleasures
I watched "wife swap" again last night. Josh laughed at me. Watching that show is like poping a blister. It hurts and it's gross but I just can't help myself.
My Contribution
I've been struggling for the last year or so with wishing I could find a way to earn money for our family. Josh works three jobs and I was wishing I could take some pressure off of him and contribute. Also I hate when his birthday and Christmas come and I buy him a present with the money that he earned. It stinks. However the Lord has finally broken through to me. I was praying about what I could do to earn some money and the Lord said to me, "what would you do with the money"? Well, ofcourse there are tons of things I could do with the money, but I realized that none of them are as significant to our family as the time I would use to earn the money. I realized that we have enough money right now. I can't ask Josh to stop any of his work. Verizon Wireless is what supports us, the church is his ministry and calling and the gigs are his passion. The Lord showed me that what I can do is work hard at home to alleviate the pressure of working more when he gets home. I can learn to do some of the "house" jobs that I usually think of as "boy jobs". That way when he's home he can rest and be with us. I feel so freed. I'm growing in my ability to enjoy being cared for financially and see my work here at home as a valid contribution. It is a peaceful feeling.
Second Hand
Here are my most recent Salvation Army, VOA and Goodwill finds:
Love Seat
2 big mirrors for the living room
Wooden doll cradle and chair (Emma for Christmas)
10 Beatrix Potter books
a copy of Captivating (Mom for Christmas)
TV antenae
Child size china tea set made in occupied Japan
I love second Hand Stores
By the way Josh and I discovered The Craft Antique Co-op this weekend in Rochester. It is amazing. I highly suggest it to anyone in town, but don't bring your kids if possible.
Help
Would someone please take pity on me and explain why I can't comment on people's blogs anymore. I finally got one onto Dawn's because I read something on Jackie's. But I lost my comment for Jackie and was too lazy to re-write it.
Also a tip for the unsavy: When you want to say something is too much, like Too cool, too long, too ugly, remember TOO like too much too.
Lastly I have learned a valuable lesson in the last few days which I shall not soon forget. Regardless of what the diaper companies may say, bleach is your friend if you wash your own cloth diapers. My son smells much less offensive now.
10 Great Books
Here is a list of ten books I highly reccomend reading if you haven't. Picture yourself curled up on the couch during naptime on a crisp autumn afternoon with a cup of hot chocolate or peppermint tea.
End of the Spear, Steve Saint
Sense and Sensibility, JAne Austin
Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte
The Hiding Place, Corrie Ten Boom
Captivating, John and Stasi Eldredge
The Abraham's Daughter's series, Beverly Lewis
Little Men, Louisa May Alcott
Having Our Say, I can't remember but it is two 100 year old black ladies
Cheaper By the Dozen, I also can't remember but FAR funnier than the movie
The Color of Water, Sorry His name is John or something
Kiddo Books-
Stuarts Cape (5-10)
Binky, Leslie Patricelli (0-3)
Quiet Loud, Leslie Patricelli (0-3)
The Kissing Hand, Audrey Penn (2 1/2-7)
All Together Now, I can't remember her name (2 1/2-7)
My Ballet Class, Rachel Isadora (2 1/2-7)
Bedtime for Francis, Russell Hoban (2 1/2-7)
Doggy Dog, and Goosey Goose, Chris Raschka (0-3)
Some Things Go Together, Charlotte Zolotow (0-7)
What Color is Your Underwear, Sam Loyd (2 1/2-7)
Let me know what you think of these if your read them or have read them. Also, I would love some reccomendations in both catagories!
Quick catch up
I haven't written on this thing in two weeks. Sometimes it is hard to find enough alone time for this stuff, but oh well... Here's what the Daby family have been up to:
1) Canning
I canned ALOT of peaches, jam, tomatoes and salsa. By the way, this is my friend Heidi's salsa recipe (which you don't have to can, you can just eat) and it is amazing. Equally amazing, for those of you who like me are trying to stretch a small grocery budget to feed ravenous munchkins, I figured out that when I made this salsa recipe (I quadrupled it) and canned it it came out to 16 dollars for 14 pint jars. And that is with buying new jars. It is quite a savings over buying store salsa and it tastes awesome.
Salsa
Put in food proccessor or blender:
2 1/2 cups diced tomatoes
1/2 large onion chopped
1/2 cup tomatoe paste
1/2 green pepper chopped
5 cloves garlic
1/2 cup fresh cilantro
1 1/2 TBSP salt
1 TBSP cumin
2 TBSP sugar
After blending this add 2 more cups diced tomatoes and 2-? diced Jalepenos depending on how spicy you like it.
Hurrah for Salsa!!!
2) Peter and grandpa Phippen were here for several days. It was a very nice visit including all of the things we've come to expect with visits from granddaddy (peter). There was massive sugar consumption for all, parentally guided spoilage of the children, LOTS of hair in the bathroom, and two happy little children. Peter bought me crest whitening strips and a new set of dishes from Crate and Barrel which I should be getting very soon.
Hurrah for Peter the native American impersonator :)
*SHAMELESS HUSBAND PROMOTION*
By the way, Josh plays percusion on Peter's latest album "Shadow's of Dawn." He is very awesome!
3) I am trying to come up with a plan to keep the children occupied and me from going crazy this year. It is our year together before Emma starts preschool and we start thinking about adding on blessings. I want to enjoy my two birds completely.
4) I am extremely proud of myself for finding a gift for Josh's birthday that I think he will REALLY like. I must admit that though I have known Josh since I was 17 I have never gotten him a gift that he really liked without him telling me exactly what he wanted. I have also never surprised him because he always snoops, he is like snoop doggy dog! I am hoping that I can do it this year. He will be 31! Can you believe how old he is?
