Zandolit

Evangelism

2007-02-12T18:24:00.000-08:00

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galations 6:9

Four Years

2007-02-08T17:56:00.000-08:00

"Do you know what today is? It's our anniversary, anniversary, yeah." (that's a song)

Anyhoo- we watched our wedding video tonight starring many of our friends, actually it starred Josh and I, but many of you were great supporting actors and actresses. I was blessed again by Jackie's voice. I miss hearing it, it's so clear. We laughed at some of the dancing, cried when we saw Grandma Exware. Emma wanted to know where she was. She has been asking about weddings lately due to Cinderella. She told me last week that she wants to get married. When I asked her why, she said it was because she wanted to wear the dress and the hat on her head. I guess most girls feel that way, but maybe it's time to lighten up on the Disney movies!

The wedding video didn't have the effect I thought it would. I was looking for some kind of romantic experience. When I expressed to Josh that it wasn't making me feel all fuzzy, he said alot of people think of a wedding as a culminating romantic experience when really it is just a begining. I look at us in that video and I think, we were committing our lives to each other and it was right and beautiful, but we hardly knew each other and we didn't love each other like we do now. I can't wait for thirty years and fifty years. If you think about it, I bet a 50th anniversary is a true culminating romantic experience. Can you imagine watching a slide show of all the blessings and trials of 50 years beside each other? That is soul to soul. Well, I don't wish to re-live that wedding experience anymore now. I'd rather be a beloved wife than princess for a day, although my dress was beautiful.

Random and unconnected items

2007-01-25T12:21:00.000-08:00

Lazy hands make a mn poor, but diligent hands bring wealth. Prov. 10:4

She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls...She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. Prov. 31:15, 17

Wheat Crackers:

Combine:
3 cups wheat flour
1 cup white flour
1/4 cup wheat germ
1 tsp baking powder
1 1/2 tsp salt

Cut in: 3/4 cup lard/margarine/butter

Beat lightly one egg in a 1 cup measure
add enough milk to fill the cup

Mix to form a ball, kneed lightly. heat overn to 425 degrees. Divide dough into 4 parts, roll out thinly, place on greesed cookie sheets, cut with pizza cutter and prick all over with fork, sprinkle with salt. Bake 7-10 minutes, store in air-tight container.

Comercial wheat thins on sale at Wegmans: 2 boxes for 5 dollars.
This recipe (the equivelant of 2 boxes): aproximately 1 dollar, and you know exactly what is in them.

Currently reading "Laddie" by Gene Stratton Porter- excellent!

Oh Emma...

2007-01-17T10:58:00.000-08:00

Last night Josh and I crept into Emma's room with a flash light to check on her. We had noticed for a couple of weeks that it seemed chilly in there and we thought it was because of the newly formed attic with a door in her room. After tucking and kissing her little cherub-like self, Josh shined the flash light down the heating vent on her floor. What did he find? Seven feet down there was a wad of clothes! We used a garden tool duct taped to a long pole to fish out of the vent a bathing suit, underwear, a sock, a stuffed bunny and a pair of tights! We could still see a silk scarf, bead neclace and several pastic toy forks and knives. Tonight we shall try to get them! So a word to the wise, if you have forced air heating vents, invest in wire screen!

Adou

2007-01-17T10:24:00.000-08:00

Would everyone please be praying for our friend Adou? He is one of Josh's best Haitian friends and is dying because of a tumor on his lung and cirosis of the liver due to Hepititis C. At least that is what we think it is based on the tests he's been able to afford. We are trying to find a way to get him to the US for surgery/treatment as soon as possible. If you would like to know more, click the link to Connie's blog on my page and look for entries about Adou Saint-Amour.

January

2007-01-11T10:22:00.000-08:00

I'm thankful that it is January. We really enjoyed the holidays, but I get tired after all those weeks and I start to crave routine and healthy eating. Today there is snow on the ground at last. I bundled the children up and we went out and built a snow man. Also I am making a huge pot of tomato sauce today. I love the smell of it. Does anyone else eat a bowl of homemade tomato sauce plain when it is almost ready but it isn't time for dinner yet? My mother in law got me a wonderful cook book called "more with less". We used it alot in Haiti and I am excited to get back to it. One of my goals this year is to eat more homemade, whole foods. We need to watch our cholesterol in this family. I love cooking and eating. I'm thankful to live where I can get groceries to make good food.

On Marriage...

2006-12-02T10:57:00.000-08:00

- "Marriage should be honored by all..." Hebrews 13:4

- What is the right age for a person to marry? I was 24, and recently someone accused me of having married too young (not that I accept that enough to even let it bother me, I did just what God told me and I am perfectly happy). However, I have in the past thought that different people were too young to marry. Upon reflection I don't think it is age that determines readiness. Of course if you marry at 20 you will be a different person at 30, but if you marry at 30 you will be a different person at 40 so age cannot be the determining factor. We are (hopefully) always changing and growing. Readiness must be individually determined.

-"What he asked of me is that I should be his wife. I understood that to mean that he desired me to keep him a clean house, serve him digestible food, mother his children and give him loving sympathy and tenderness." Elnora, A Girl of the Limberlost

- Favorite Marriages (in no apparent order):
1. Mine (of course) I notice that the longer I'm married the more I see how right Josh is for me. God is good.
2. Scott and Jody, a perfect example of real people living life together.
3. Admiral and Mrs. Croft, Jane Austin's Persuasion
4. John and Laura
5. Greg and Barb
Does commitment make anyone else happy?

- A lot of us think that marriage will meet our emotional needs. We would do better to see it as two people working through life together. The "romance" of it springs from us working together for the good of the family in a kind and unselfish way. Don't you want to kiss you husband when he is being unselfish?

- It's good to hate divorce, God does.

- "You will certainly be a different person 20 years after you marry, it is not your common interests that hold you together, but your common values." attributed to Mrs. S. (sorry if misquoted)

Thanksgiving

2006-12-01T10:16:00.000-08:00

-We spent thanksgiving with my family in Albany this year.

-We saw all of my siblings except Brett whom we will see at Christmas. The kids had a fabulous time with their cousins.

-I went to my 10 year high school reunion...and no I am not above the use of control top pantihose and padded bras to take off the effect of years. It was very fun catching up with people.

-I got very sick on the way home, but now I am almost back to normal.

-PS, it's only like four weeks until Christmas, how many lists have you written? I have written about four so far but soon I will have another three. What do I need to do, who gets regular gifts and who gets food gifts, who gets Christmas cards, what do I need to buy for my holiday baking, what am I going to bake etc. I'm not stressed though- I am one of those women who thrive on planning. I wish I could plan my wedding agian for the joy of making lists and getting things done inexpensively. That is who I am. I know Jackie is saying amen.

Because I love him...

2006-11-07T12:09:00.000-08:00

That is the reason why I allow my dear husband to stretch a rotting deer skin on a frame in our garage to dry. (He is making drum heads out of it.) I ignore the stench as well as I can and think of all of his good qualities, he's a good provider, loves the Lord, has nice teeth, etc. When Emma walked by the garage on her way inside yesterday she said "mommy, it's stinky like poop!" I hope the neighbors haven't noticed.

munchkins

2006-11-07T11:29:00.000-08:00

Great Is Thy Faithfulness

2006-11-07T11:11:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow I will be 28. I was thinking this morning about my mother. When she was 28 her life was very bleak. She was divorced. She had two little girls 6 and 8 to raise. She had no home of her own. She had no spiritual life to sustain her. Now 22 years later here I am turning 28 in the midst of every joy and blessing the Lord can give us. I'm so thankful that we are not doomed to repeat our parents mistakes. I'm so thankful that we are not doomed to repeat our own mistakes. I certainly made many along the way to this place. I'm so blessed that God looked at my family when we didn't acknowledge Him and He revealed Himself to us in such a way that a legacy of faith has begun. You are so Good God. I thank you even for the great hurts of my childhood because I know that you allowed them for a reason and are using them to build your kingdom and bring glory to your name. Thank you for 28 years, and no matter how much more time I have, may it always be used to serve You and bring you glory.

Lately

2006-10-30T11:47:00.000-08:00

How does a one hour time difference effect us so much?

-Today I made Jackie's olive oil honey bread. I doubled the recipe to make two loaves, one rose and one did not. How did that happen? Also I have been using pyrex pans and they are very annoying. No matter how much greese I put on them the bread sticks. I am expecting a pampered chef stone pan this week. Thank goodness, I need all the help I can get.

-Tomorrow is Halloween. Our family hasn't yet determined on a particular stance on Halloween. The best part about it for me is passing out candy and scripture verses to trick-or-treaters. I remember our IV days when we were always trying to come up with a way to reach people with the gospel, well there is no other day of the year when children come to your home asking for something. I type up 10 or so verses and print off alot of copies on the computer. Then I cut them into strips and roll them up and fasten them with a sticker. I heard a little girl leave my porch last year exclaiming, "look mommy, I got a secret message!" I hope that message will change her life. This is a good way to involve our kids in meeting the culture where it is at. Let them hand out the candy. Also Josh adds, if you are going to give out scripture be sure to give good candy.

-I am very excited about a large rummage sale this week. I got a babysitter and am attending with NO CHILDREN!!!! How lovely to peruse the piles of thigs without hearing a cry or complaint, without saying,"don't touch that!," "We look with our eyes," "I'll buy everyone a cookie if you will be so good for mommy." It will be wonderful.

Back Again

2006-10-23T10:29:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it is very difficult to find time for this.

Items:

I continue in my quest to make my own wheat bread and have it rise properly. Josh regularly scolds the bread, the loaf pans and the yeast for his flat bread- but never me.

I am feeling frustrated with people who ask for advice, listen and agree with advice and then do whatever they want anyway.

What is the best way to preserve pears? Pear Butter? Or spiced pears?

Emma informed me today as she was watching Cinderella that she intends to put on her skirt, tutu, necklace and shoes, go to the ball and dance with her daddy. When I replied, "oh, your daddy will be the handsome prince," she said- "no, daddy not a prince he's a man!"

Emma grows increasingly like Josh, she is extremely animated when she tells a story. The other day when she was explaining how she had gotten a spanking she actually spanked herself for effect and said "see, like that!"

incidentally- does anyone else find the text messaging spelling starting to permeate their brains to the detriment of the English language. I find myself wanting to type things such as "c u later," and "2day wuz cool." Jane Austin would roll over in her grave.

Tuesday (but really Monday)

2006-10-10T11:15:00.000-07:00

Today feels like Monday to me because my parents left yesterday and Josh took a half day so it was still like weekend. Mom and Chuck came for the weekend and we all took the kids to a farm. Emma loved petting the goats and Josiah chased a cat around. There were two lambs also which were so cute. On Sunday Josh and I DJed a Messianic Jewish wedding. It was beautiful and a very interesting cultural experience. They did the chair dance and a bunch of circle dances. I love seeing other cultures in action, but this was particularly interesting because it is our spiritual heritage as well. There was a lot of "old-testamenty" things. It was very cool. Also everyone called Jesus Yeshua. At dinner Josh and I sat at a table of fabulous young people. They were college aged and I was amazed at their social skills. I don't mean to be snotty or anything, but it does seem more and more rare to find young people with good social skills. (What I mean by good social skills: make conversation with the people around you even if you've never met them. Start by introducing yourself, firm hand shake, eye contact. Don't make the whole conversation about you. Ask questions, find common interests and discuss them. Show interest in what the other person is saying. Include those around you, don't talk only to one person.) Those young people were amazing and I enjoyed myself so much with them. As Josh and I arrived last we weren't sitting together which would normally make me feel funny since I didn't know anyone else, but they put me right at ease and we all had a great time. What a difference manners can make in people's lives. It is so much easier for those who are naturally shy to be in company if we have manners and social skills to fall back on.

Food

2006-10-05T12:03:00.000-07:00

Ramen noodles are cheap, fast and yum, but also salty, fatty starch. Therefore when I make them for the kids and I, I make two packages of noodles but put only one seasoning packet in. Also I always add vegetables to them while cooking (broccoli or spinach are our favorites) that way they are a little healthier.

This week I made my first spaggetti squash of the season and Emma thought it was Ramen, so now I have a healthy alternative. A little butter and a shake of cheese and she is excited to be eating "noodles."

In order to save money and time I have decided that Wednesday will be soup night at our house. I will probably try 56 soups over the course of this year since Josh isn't a big soup fan, but I like soup and it is easy and cheap. Last night we had this one, it's really good.

Battle of Lexington Soup

Boil 3 chicken thighs (or equivalent in other peices of chicken) in 6 cups water until cooked through.
Remove chicken from pot and add 1 skinned and quarterd butternut squash
Remove bones and skin from chicken and chop meat
When squash is soft mash it in pot
Add chicken chunks
Chop one onion and saute in 1 tablespoon butter until tender, add to soup
Add salt and pepper to taste and 1/2 tsp nutmeg
Add two cups milk (no less fat than 2% I would say, I used whole) Heat through, do not boil

So all you need is chicken, 1 butternut squash, 1 onion,1 TBSP butter, water, two cups milk, water, salt, pepper and nutmeg

Speaking of Ramen makes me think of Jackie and I sitting round our hot pot eating Ramen and cheddar cheese in college. Oh, if only my metabolism were still at that rate! Remember Draime girls- now that we are approaching thirty even reduced fat Ben and Jerry's isn't fat free- even if we can balance it on our heads!

Monday

2006-10-02T11:43:00.000-07:00

Monday is house cleaning day here. I feel that I have washed every article of clothing we own. I was forced to use the dryer more that I wanted though because Josh took half of my clothes pins to form the head of a new drum he's making while it dries. Only wives of percussionists can expect to come home and find animal skins floating in the bath tub. He has to soak them first to get them to the proper shape for the drum head. Anyway, the upstairs is especially clean, though we still have more mudding and sanding to do in the hall and soon to be bathroom so it won't be clean for long. That's OK, I like cleaning. You know you're a mom when you think how nice it would be to be alone in the house and clean it and then just enjoy it's cleanness.

Rediscovering Me

2006-09-25T11:21:00.000-07:00

Last night I finally broke down in tears about the restlessness and discontent that has been in my heart. Josh was so patient and kind as he helped me figure out what was bothering me. I realized that I am coming into a new season in my life. Josiah was one at the end of July, he's all done nursing, he and Emma are starting to enjoy a little friendship, Emma wants to do all kinds of things by herself, I don't remember the last time I had to get up in the night to help them, my period is regular, I'm almost back to my old size. I'm starting to be me again. I'm going out of survival/crisis mode and into this is normal life mode. I have normal energy levels again, and amazingly enough I have gone several days in a row without a nap. I don't know when that has happened since college. It's a very strange feeling. This morning I got up at 6 and had a quiet time. I haven't done that since I got married three and a half years ago. As I'm writing this out I am realizing that it might not make sense that I was crying about it. I've really been the pace setter for our family the past three years. All of a sudden I realized that the family was still going at the new baby pace and I was ready to pick it up some. I was getting bored with always watching movies and taking naps in my spare time. (Amazing, I haven't felt bored in at least two years, I'm usually too tired to be bored) I told Josh I wanted to do something fun with him, something more interesting than watching movies. Then came the big realization. We began to make a list of our common interests, aside from the children, to decide what we could do to spend time together. We came up with two things. I was shocked, and scared for a minute. So much for my declaring to Tammy back in college days that I should surely marry Josh because we're like the same person! Do you know what I was thankful for at that moment? Two couples we know very well. Both have been married over twenty five years, both have happy and successful marriages. As I thought about them though I could see that in both situations they are different people, with different interests but common values, making life work together. I felt that it was OK that I wasn't interested in congas and reggae. I like to read and sew. I like athletic pursuits and Josh likes to make CD's. That's OK. I am thankful though that we have decided to spend some time pursuing our two common interests together. I don't want to be one of those couples who have nothing to talk about except the children. I hope that Josh will always be my best friend. At any rate, I am feeling much more peacful now that I know what was wrong and we can work on it together. I'm also excited to feel alert and ready to enjoy life.

guilty pleasures

2006-09-19T12:24:00.000-07:00

I watched "wife swap" again last night. Josh laughed at me. Watching that show is like poping a blister. It hurts and it's gross but I just can't help myself.

My Contribution

2006-09-18T12:18:00.000-07:00

I've been struggling for the last year or so with wishing I could find a way to earn money for our family. Josh works three jobs and I was wishing I could take some pressure off of him and contribute. Also I hate when his birthday and Christmas come and I buy him a present with the money that he earned. It stinks. However the Lord has finally broken through to me. I was praying about what I could do to earn some money and the Lord said to me, "what would you do with the money"? Well, ofcourse there are tons of things I could do with the money, but I realized that none of them are as significant to our family as the time I would use to earn the money. I realized that we have enough money right now. I can't ask Josh to stop any of his work. Verizon Wireless is what supports us, the church is his ministry and calling and the gigs are his passion. The Lord showed me that what I can do is work hard at home to alleviate the pressure of working more when he gets home. I can learn to do some of the "house" jobs that I usually think of as "boy jobs". That way when he's home he can rest and be with us. I feel so freed. I'm growing in my ability to enjoy being cared for financially and see my work here at home as a valid contribution. It is a peaceful feeling.

Second Hand

2006-09-16T18:27:00.000-07:00

Here are my most recent Salvation Army, VOA and Goodwill finds:

Love Seat
2 big mirrors for the living room
Wooden doll cradle and chair (Emma for Christmas)
10 Beatrix Potter books
a copy of Captivating (Mom for Christmas)
TV antenae
Child size china tea set made in occupied Japan

I love second Hand Stores

By the way Josh and I discovered The Craft Antique Co-op this weekend in Rochester. It is amazing. I highly suggest it to anyone in town, but don't bring your kids if possible.

Help

2006-09-11T17:50:00.000-07:00

Would someone please take pity on me and explain why I can't comment on people's blogs anymore. I finally got one onto Dawn's because I read something on Jackie's. But I lost my comment for Jackie and was too lazy to re-write it.

Also a tip for the unsavy: When you want to say something is too much, like Too cool, too long, too ugly, remember TOO like too much too.

Lastly I have learned a valuable lesson in the last few days which I shall not soon forget. Regardless of what the diaper companies may say, bleach is your friend if you wash your own cloth diapers. My son smells much less offensive now.

10 Great Books

2006-09-08T17:26:00.000-07:00

Here is a list of ten books I highly reccomend reading if you haven't. Picture yourself curled up on the couch during naptime on a crisp autumn afternoon with a cup of hot chocolate or peppermint tea.

End of the Spear, Steve Saint
Sense and Sensibility, JAne Austin
Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte
The Hiding Place, Corrie Ten Boom
Captivating, John and Stasi Eldredge
The Abraham's Daughter's series, Beverly Lewis
Little Men, Louisa May Alcott
Having Our Say, I can't remember but it is two 100 year old black ladies
Cheaper By the Dozen, I also can't remember but FAR funnier than the movie
The Color of Water, Sorry His name is John or something

Kiddo Books-

Stuarts Cape (5-10)
Binky, Leslie Patricelli (0-3)
Quiet Loud, Leslie Patricelli (0-3)
The Kissing Hand, Audrey Penn (2 1/2-7)
All Together Now, I can't remember her name (2 1/2-7)
My Ballet Class, Rachel Isadora (2 1/2-7)
Bedtime for Francis, Russell Hoban (2 1/2-7)
Doggy Dog, and Goosey Goose, Chris Raschka (0-3)
Some Things Go Together, Charlotte Zolotow (0-7)
What Color is Your Underwear, Sam Loyd (2 1/2-7)

Let me know what you think of these if your read them or have read them. Also, I would love some reccomendations in both catagories!

Quick catch up

2006-09-05T11:49:00.000-07:00

I haven't written on this thing in two weeks. Sometimes it is hard to find enough alone time for this stuff, but oh well... Here's what the Daby family have been up to:

1) Canning

I canned ALOT of peaches, jam, tomatoes and salsa. By the way, this is my friend Heidi's salsa recipe (which you don't have to can, you can just eat) and it is amazing. Equally amazing, for those of you who like me are trying to stretch a small grocery budget to feed ravenous munchkins, I figured out that when I made this salsa recipe (I quadrupled it) and canned it it came out to 16 dollars for 14 pint jars. And that is with buying new jars. It is quite a savings over buying store salsa and it tastes awesome.

Salsa

Put in food proccessor or blender:
2 1/2 cups diced tomatoes
1/2 large onion chopped
1/2 cup tomatoe paste
1/2 green pepper chopped
5 cloves garlic
1/2 cup fresh cilantro
1 1/2 TBSP salt
1 TBSP cumin
2 TBSP sugar

After blending this add 2 more cups diced tomatoes and 2-? diced Jalepenos depending on how spicy you like it.

Hurrah for Salsa!!!

2) Peter and grandpa Phippen were here for several days. It was a very nice visit including all of the things we've come to expect with visits from granddaddy (peter). There was massive sugar consumption for all, parentally guided spoilage of the children, LOTS of hair in the bathroom, and two happy little children. Peter bought me crest whitening strips and a new set of dishes from Crate and Barrel which I should be getting very soon.

Hurrah for Peter the native American impersonator :)

*SHAMELESS HUSBAND PROMOTION*
By the way, Josh plays percusion on Peter's latest album "Shadow's of Dawn." He is very awesome!

3) I am trying to come up with a plan to keep the children occupied and me from going crazy this year. It is our year together before Emma starts preschool and we start thinking about adding on blessings. I want to enjoy my two birds completely.

4) I am extremely proud of myself for finding a gift for Josh's birthday that I think he will REALLY like. I must admit that though I have known Josh since I was 17 I have never gotten him a gift that he really liked without him telling me exactly what he wanted. I have also never surprised him because he always snoops, he is like snoop doggy dog! I am hoping that I can do it this year. He will be 31! Can you believe how old he is?

Giving Thanks

2006-08-23T11:44:00.001-07:00

I am thankful that I am not a teenager anymore. God bless you guys, I love you guys, I'm happy to be nearing thirty.

Giving Thanks

2006-08-23T11:44:00.000-07:00

I am thankful that I am not a teenager anymore. God bless you guys, I love you guys, I'm happy to be nearing thirty.

Joyful Things

2006-08-16T10:42:00.000-07:00

" The culture of women in the church today is crippled by some pervasive lies. "To be spiritual is to be busy. To be spiritual is to be disciplined. To be spiritual is to be dutiful." No, to be spiritual is to be in a romance with God. The desire to be romanced lies deep in the heart of every woman. It is for such that you were made. And you are romanced, and ever will be." Captivating

This song has meant alot to me lately-

Jesus, Bright as the morning star
Jesus, how can I tell you how beautiful you are to me
My Jesus, song that the angels sing
Jesus, dearer to my heart than anything
Sweeter than spring time, purer than sunshine
ever my song will be
Jesus you're beautiful to me

Sarah Groves

There is something so intimate about being alone with the Lord and telling him how much I love him. I feel like I'm begining to understand what the Lord means when he calls himself our husband.

Contentment.....ARRG!

2006-08-08T10:46:00.000-07:00

The kids and I went to Albany for five days to see my sister and her kids while they were passing through. While I was there Josh and I got into a phone argument because I mentioned that I was feeling like there wasn't enough romance in my life. Anyway, I was feeling very sorry for myself, like an old married lady, on the shelf. I felt very justified in my self pity and decided to roll in it all week like a pig in a mud pit. When I got home on Sunday Josh was waiting for me. He had cleaned the whole house, a beautiful dinner was on the table and there were roses and wine. We sat down and ate and then a bit latter we put the kids to bed and he brought out two presents for me. One was a new copy of Pride and Prejudice. Mine fell apart two weeks ago due to over use. The other was a CD with all the songs that meant something to us in our relationship since we started liking each other back on Maple St. in Potsdam. He wrote a little booklet to go with it explaining what memory went with each song and all. I cried and cried. It was so wonderful. He said he was so mad because we got into the fight on Thursday and Wednesday night he had been up until 1 making the CD for me. He asked me to pray and ask the Lord next time I feel like I need something instead of "cutting his balls off."

So all that was wonderful, right. It should now end "and they lived happily ever after because Liz's needs were met." Unfortunately it doesn't end like that. Self-pity is a destructive thing and when we give way to it it cannot be satisfied. The very next day I was stressed with the kids and I went to Toys R Us and used a gift card Josiah got for his birthday and bought a big toy for them. I spent more than the card was worth though. I had this feeling that I shouldn't have done it, but I didn't listen and when Josh called I was ashamed to tell him what I had done. He didn't yell, he was upset though and I knew I had to take it back. I was feeling all sorry for myself again. "why can't I spend money, why can't the kids have this toy?" And then I realized, yesterday all I felt I needed to be happy was some romance, I got it but now I'm not happy again because I want more money. How ridiculous! I need to learn to be content. I spent some time sitting in God's presence to begin to learn. Thank you Jesus for repentance and restoration of relationship.

Lord, this is my prayer, that I'd be satisfied with You
Oh Lord, to know you more
To Love You more.

Lord I see my need a place only You can fill inside of me
An empty hole
A barren land

Be my satisfaction, Be my hearts devotion
Be my wind, be my fire, be my heart's one desire
Be everything

Summer Refresher

2006-08-01T12:15:00.000-07:00

This is a lovely recipe for the heat. You can obviously modify it to your own taste.

3 TBSP instant decaf coffee
2 1/2 cups boiled water
sugar/splenda
6 cups milk (approximate)
chocolate syrup/flavored creamer/vanilla

Mix the coffee and water together in a small bowl. Add sugar or a combination of sugar and chocolate syrup, splenda, flavored creamer, to create a base that is sweet enough for the milk as well as what you've already mixed. It really depends on how sweet you want it and how many calories you're willing to ingest. Stir this to disolve everything then pour it into a 13X9 metal baking pan. Add milk and stir. Place pan in the freezer for about 3 hours. It should not be completely frozen, maybe half frozen. Break it up and pour the ice and liquid parts together into the blender and blend. This makes about three 12 oz servings. Josh and Amber and I enjoyed these a few times this summer so far. I mix it up quickly before dinner at 5:30 and then by the time the kids are in bed and the house is picked up it is ready for us to relax with. I hope you are all staying cool

Dancing Queen

2006-07-27T10:47:00.000-07:00

On Monday night I went to a "worship dance workshop." I'm not even sure if I can express exactly what happened there, but it was so amazing and I am so thankful. I've been in dance all my life and I have loved it, but I've also felt a certain amount of self consciousness holding me back over the years. I first noticed it around 13 when it was recital time and I just didn't want to go on stage. I didn't ever remember being nervous about it before, but that is an awkward time of life for everyone. In college I danced every semester. I felt quite a bond to my teacher Don, and I felt like he saw me as some kind of challenge. Like could he get me comfortable enough to release the dancer within? We did perform that piece in the student show, but that was quite a feat for me, completely out of my comfort zone. Since college I've been missing dance. When I walked into the workshop 15 minutes late everyone was already dancing. I suddenly wanted to cling to Janice (who had come with me). I felt like an idiot because although Janice is married and pregnant now, just last year she was way younger than me and I was clinging to her for comfort. The young lady who led it was named Ashley Rollinson and she is amazing. She has her own ballet company based in Syracuse called Light of the World Ballet Company.

The first thing the Lord showed me was that my mind-set about dance was completely off. I have always approached class with the idea that I will do the steps taught to the best of my ability to show the teacher that I am a good dancer. Ashley didn't lead like that though, she would give us some kind of direction and some imagery to work with, but no steps. She would say, "move as you feel the Holy Spirit telling you to move." So in the first exercise I began to move and at one point I looked over at her and she wasn't even watching any of us, she was just worshiping the Lord. I realized that it wasn't about impressing the teacher, or anyone, just worshipping the Lord. It was a humbling experience for me because I think of myself as a worshipper already. This was like when you are in a worship service and your in God's arms enjoying His presence and there is some teenager who doesn't understand and is trying to talk to you or something- I was that kid!

The second thing the Lord showed me was that I've always wanted to dance well to gain love and acceptance. My father is a dancer and I think I wanted to please him, and be like him. Later in life I wanted to gain the acceptance of my teachers, my fellow students, anyone. The Lord showed me through one of the exercises that we did that He is pleased with my dancing. It was amazing. I was like a little girl again in a tutu and He was in the audience clapping and crying over how precious I was. I was so thankful. Josh summed it up well for me later when he said, "In the past you've always danced to gain acceptance, but tonight you danced because you are accepted."

The last thing I learned was on Wednesday night at the second class. I went alone that night. During a meditative time of the evening I was thinking about what was holding me back, what did I need to surrender to the Lord. I knew it was the praise and rejection of men. There was a time in my life, a very difficult time, just before my senior year in college, when the Lord was teaching me that I needed to find my identity only in being His child. I couldn't be "Liz, president of IV," or,"Liz, the evangelist," or, "Liz, so-and-so's girlfriend." I had to be content and at peace as just Liz, child of God. It was a very important lesson for me. Since I've been married to Josh there have been times when I've thought maybe I'm too much in love with him and my children. What if I lose them all because I love them too much. As I was searching my heart on Wednesday I realized that a lot of times I go places with my kids and they are like a blanket covering my self consciousness. I don't have to have attention on me and who I am when I have two adorable munchkins to attract the attention, or my husband to tell stories. I've become, "Liz, wife of Josh", and "Liz, mother of Emma and Josiah." At this dance/worship service I was alone. It was me in front of other women and the Lord, just me. What am I afraid of people seeing? I don't know, but it doesn't matter, the point is that I was again just Liz- child of God. It is hard to stand naked before the Lord, there is always the compulsion to sew together fig leaves and cover ourselves. But we are accepted by him, regardless of who has accepted or rejected us in the past. Regardless of what we have done. Through the blood of Jesus we are all his precious little princesses twirling in pink tutus and bringing joy to our father's heart. Thank you Jesus, I love to make you smile.

All of our news

2006-07-24T11:43:00.000-07:00

I Made A Dress!!! Oh Yes I Did! I am extremely proud of myself. Laura inspired and encouraged me so I went out and bought a pattern and material and I made an actual dress that fits and has a working zipper and a bodice and everything! It was very fun. I made about 27 mistakes, but that's OK. I feel empowered now.

Josiah's birthday is on Friday. On Sunday we are having him dedicated and celebrating his cute little self. I'm excited to see all of our family and friends.

The sad part about that is the Daby's are taking Amber back to Ogdensburg with them after. We are going to miss her an awful lot. It has been a great learning experience for all of us.

One of the things I really appreciate about my father in law is that when you are talking with him he always asks, "what are you learning," or "What is the Lord showing you?" That is a great way to live your life. You can always learn if you are willing to be taught. I thought when we invited Amber to live with us that it was so she could learn some things. She did, but so did I. I want to always have that attitude, what is God showing me? What can I learn from this? Lord help me to be humble and teachable.

Cleaning the Car

2006-07-17T19:13:00.000-07:00

Josiah is now front facing! I can't believe he is so old. Last year I was hugely pregnant and extremely hot (temperature I mean:) Anyway, I think that if all of us mothers banded together and combined all of the food that is under our car seats we could feed the whole world. Do you think they would like fishy crackers and raisins?

Hot

2006-07-13T17:19:00.000-07:00

This weekend is supposed to be humid, hazey and 90. I am not looking forward to it. Where can I take the children that will be cooler, Josiah will not eat dirt or any other ground cover, and I won't have to hold both children in the water? Josh is going to work on our "upstairs bathroom" this weekend. I put it in quotes because right now it is a space with pipes so I can't actually say it is a bathroom.

Josiah is just about done nursing now. He isn't very interested anymore which is fine because he will be 1 on the 28th. Since I'm no longer a calorie source for him I've decided to cut my sugar and flour intake to try to lose the last 15 pounds of baby weight. The thing I realized when I began this yeserday is how little self control I actually have. I haven't worried about my eating much because I didn't feel overweight, but when I decided to cut back my body was screaming for ice cream and cookies. So "skinny" doesn't equal self-control. I am actually hungry very often, but alot of times I eat because I'm bored, lonely, or it's nap time and a book and a snack sounds so relaxing. I like to read Jane Austen and then I want tea and muffins or cake or something. Anyway, I need to beat my body and make it my slave. Gluttony is a very accepted sin in our culture but that doesn't make it right.

Birthday Party

2006-07-11T11:25:00.000-07:00

Posting Funk

2006-07-10T18:39:00.000-07:00

I haven't written on this thing in a long time. Here is an update on the Daby household:

Amber is doing well. We continue to enjoy having her here and dread her return to the North. I especially am wondering how the kids will take it. Emma idolizes Josh's siblings and after spending a weekend with them askes for them incessantly for two weeks. I know she will miss Amber so much.

We had a birthday party at our house yesterday for Amber and my friend Lisa. It was a really great time. There were lots of young single people hanging out together. I played volleyball which was awesome. Jared tried to spike the ball right on my head! Joy, Micah and Josh serenaded us and it was lovely. Emma kept at least one article of clothing on until almost all of the guests were gone. Josiah pooped in the kiddie pool and grossed out some of the gentlemen. I was slightly amused. By the way, sometimes my son reminds me of a tiger shark who just eats everything in it's path including license plates and nails. When I changed his diaper this morning I found cherry pits in it. I don't know if someone was handing him whole cherries or if he was eating the pits that everyone spit on the ground.

The next two weeks should be somewhat quiet. We aren't expecting any relatives and there aren't any big gigs. I will be a nice lull before Josiah's dedication/birthday. We are looking forward to seeing Josh's family again then. It was such a blessing having Micah, Jared, Meaghan and Hannah with us. I hope they will come again soon.

Home Again

2006-06-27T10:35:00.000-07:00

We arrived home last night from a long weekend in Ogdensburg. Micah graduated and we were so proud. He gave a moving valedictorian speech and received a standing ovation. It was a wonderful moment. He looked like he wasn't sure what to do while the audience clapped and stood. He is a humble young man. We had a wonderful visit with everyone while we were there. The highlight for me was a soak in the jacuzzi tub, don't I wish I had one of those. Also the times when my beloved mother in law said, "Liz, you look tired, why don't you lie down and I'll watch Emma." Emma's highlight was the snakes. My in laws home is surrounded by a stone wall which houses probable hundreds of snakes. Small to medium sized completely harmless snakes, but snakes none the less. Those of you who read about my mayonnaise issues, ditto for snakes. I have completely irrational fears of them. I am however making a large effort not to pass that on to my daughter. So I did take her for walks along the wall to see the snakes. I only freaked out once when a larger one slithered past us on the ground. I managed not to scream, but Josh said my gasp was loud enough and that I squeezed his hand extremely tight. Emma's other favorite things were the frog pond, playing with cousins and eating Elna's toothpaste. It was so good she kept going back to it. Josiah was a darling and everyone loved him. We also got to see Jackie and the girls at church which was wonderful. I love her. Now we are home, I am doing the laundry and unpacking and getting ready for Dad and Marcia to come on Friday. Summer is such a busy time.

Captivating; What Eve Alone Can Tell

2006-06-23T11:31:00.000-07:00

"Woman is the crown of creation- the most intricate, dazzling creature on earth. She has a crucial role to play, a destiny of her own. And she too bears the image of God, but in a way that only the feminine can speak. What can we learn from her? God wanted to reveal something about himself, so he gave us Eve. When you are with a woman, ask yourself, what is she telling me about God? It will open up wonders for you."

This chapter was so awesome. I feel so validated as a person. I never thought before about being made in the image of God. I've buried a lot of my self worth with my old feminist ideas and habits, but that is like throwing the baby out with the bath water. I can still be special, but not be a feminist.

The most amazing thing I realized through this chapter was that God loves beauty. One of the things I love about my friend Tammy is her artistic ability. When you walk into her home or classroom there is a different air altogether. She arranges unique things in such a pleasing way and it makes me want to sigh contentedly and relax. I love that. I never thought about the significance of it though. I realized this week that God made artists because he himself is an artist. He wanted to show a part of himself so he put it in Tammy. Isn't that amazing? Each person reveals a part of God because we are made in his image. There is a part of me that has always felt ashamed of being so tender hearted that I always cry, or ashamed of wanting to be loved. I thought I was so needy and why couldn't I just get myself together and be self-sufficient. I'm so thankful to the Lord, because He has shown me that he made me tender hearted because that is who he is. He is not hard or sarcastic, he is loving and compassionate. The desire for love and to be pursued that God put in each woman is an expression of his own desire to be pursued by us. The Bible is full of his longing for us to seek him and to long for him with all of our hearts in the same way that we long for husbands to love us and pursue us. I'm so amazed. I feel so free from condemnation for who I am. I feel so validated in the way that God has made me. What a relief! Thank you Jesus.

Burn Out

2006-06-20T18:46:00.000-07:00

If anyone has found the secret to enjoying toddlerhood because you know it will not last, and not losing your mind at the same time, could you please let me know? I'm at the bottom.

To The Young Ladies

2006-06-19T11:38:00.000-07:00

I have not yet had a chance to mention this, but my sister in law Amber has moved in with us for the summer. We are really enjoying having her here. She's been here a week and is working full time already and has been making new friends. I'm thankful to have her here, and I am proud of her for stepping out of her comfort zone. I'm excited to see how the Lord will continue to bless her. She is sharing Josiah's room. Our house is small, but everyone seems to be able to find their own little cubbyhole.

Anyway, Father's Day has got me to thinking about my husband. I don't believe that when I married Josh three and a half years ago I had any idea how wonderful or how right for me he really was. I did love him, and I did appreciate certain things about him, but I didn't know much about who he really was. (those of you who've been married way longer will laugh saying I still don't- that's OK- I look forward to growing together even more) One thing I value very much about Josh is that he is merciful.
In the past year I went through an internal battle to forgive someone who had sinned. It was a huge struggle for me. Unforgiveness has been a stronghold in my life in the past. Josh was so merciful and kind to me through it. He prayed for me. When he talked with me about it he was so rational, yet so gentle. He reminded me of what was right, he showed me that I had no right to judge, but he did it all so gently, and so humbly I felt so loved and not judged. When I did forgive he was proud of me and glad and didn't condemn me for having struggled. That is maturity. That is a real man. Josh shows me everday who Jesus is. Through knowing him I better understand the character of God. That is what you should look for in a husband, that is the most blessed and awesome thing.

Captivating, The Heart of a Woman

2006-06-16T11:08:00.000-07:00

A Woman's Journey

Then the time came when the risk it took
To remain tight in a bud was more painful
Than the risk it took to blossom.
-Anais Nin

"I know I am not alone in this nagging sense of failing to measure up, a feeling of not being good enough as a woman. Every woman I've ever met feels it- something deeper than just the sense of failing at what she does. An underlying, gut feeling of failing at who she is. I am not enough, and, I am too much at the same time. Not pretty enough, not thin enough, not kind enough, not gracious enough, not disciplined enough. But too emotional, too needy, too sensitive, too strong, too opinionated, too messy."

"Whatever it means to bear God's image, you do so as a woman. Female. That's how and where you bear his image. Your femine heart has been created with the greatest of all possible dignities- as a reflection of God's own heart."

Stasi Eldredge

These quotes are the highlights of what I learned from the first chapter of this book. It is speaking to deep feelings and hurts in my heart and I felt such a freedom in realizing that God loves me and created me the way that I am. I am so excited to plunge ahead and learn and heal.

Nudist Jumper

2006-06-14T10:28:00.000-07:00

On Monday I put Emma and Josiah down for their naps in their respective bedrooms. I sang, I cuddled, I kissed, I put a high gate on Emma's door and I went downstairs for a much needed break. About ten minutes later it occured to me that the giggling I was hearing from upstairs was coming from Josiah's room and it didn't sound like him. When I got upstairs I found Emma and Josiah jumping and laughing in Josiah's crib. After proper discipline I put Emma back in her room but as I reached the bottom of the stairs I heard her on the move again. I found her hanging over the side of the crib trying to get back in. I was frustrated. I had bought the high gate (it comes to the top of her nose) to keep her in her room so that Josiah can sleep and I can have a break. I didn't know what to do. Finally I went downstairs and found some string. I tied one end to the door knob and the other to the stove downstairs. After that I settled down on the couch to relax. By this time Josiah was fast asleep, but Emma continued to cry for about 45 minutes. Finally I thought I'd better go and check on her. She was perfectly fine, she just didn't like that she couldn't get out. Well, TOO BAD! I re-tied the door and went back downstairs. A few minutes later I heard a cry from Josiah followed by gigling. When I got uptairs I saw that I hadn't tied the door tight enough and Emma had escaped again and awakened her brother. I put her back in her room (after discipline) and tied the door tight. About 25 minutes later things were starting to quiet down up there. Josiah resettled and Emma seemed to be calm because I couldn't hear much crying or thumping. I settled onto the couch with a book to enjoy the last 15 minutes of nap time. Two minutes later the phone rang. It was my neighbor. She said to me, "Liz, I was just about to pull out of my driveway and I happened to look up at your house. I wasn't sure if you knew or not, but Emma is standing on the front window sill with top window lowered. She is hanging her arms outside and is completely naked."

Two Things

2006-06-11T16:27:00.000-07:00

1) If anyone hasn't yet read the article from Jackie's blog under the title of "so right" please go read it. It was so awesome and so needed in the church today. I am challenged.

2) My friend and I are going to be reading through a book together this summer and discussing it each week. It is called Captivating, by John and Stasi Eldredge. It is about understanding who we are as women in Christ. I wanted to invite anyone who's interested to read along with us and we could all post our comments on each chapter on Fridays and discuss that way. It looks like it will be a very insightful book, I'm looking forward to growing. If anyone is interested we are reading the first chapter this week. Also there is a companion journal book you can use along with it if you want to. I have it because Tammy loaned it to me, I probably wouldn't have spent the extra money, but if anyone is interested and doesn't want to buy it I can post some of the questions.

Sigh...

2006-06-10T11:58:00.000-07:00

Joy graduated today. I was so proud of her and cried copiously. It was the home school organization's ceremony and each of the kids had a short powerpoint presentation and then their parents awarded the diplomas. It was very nice and I was extremely gratified when Joy's senior picture flashed on the screen and the woman sitting beside me gasped and said to her friend, "wow, she's beautiful!" Joy has been so special to me (as have all of the Ebel's) since I moved to Rochester. The took me in and Joy and her siblings were so supportive of me while I was dealing with culture shock and readjusting to the US. Joy was always especially interested in Haiti and my experiences. I'm so proud that she is going into YWAM. She really wants to serve the Lord and is making practical decisions. Anyway, I don't want her to leave and be grown up, but I am thankful for having had her in my life in such a special way for the last four years. Congratulations Joy. Two more weeks and I'll be crying over Micah. I'm so glad my kids are little.

A quiet time

2006-06-09T08:57:00.000-07:00

Today Jenessa is watching my kids and I am taking the day off. My kind husband responded to my cry for help and I am thankful. This morning I walked around to various garage sales and the best part was that I hardly spoke. I was free to be in my own silent little world. I think that there are those people in the world who can be social and those who thrive on being social. I am one who can be social. Really I like to be alone and quiet. It is so peaceful.

Wednesday

2006-06-07T10:24:00.000-07:00

Things I like about today:

my new bedroom with all of my things and no children's things

chocolate oatmeal chip cookies

nap time

cleaning and rearranging my house

sunshine, but not too hot

laundry on the line

Josh is not going to work on the house this evening

I'm trying a new recipe for dinner with potatoes and feta cheese

pink flowers

pink flip flops (2 for $5 at old navy)

Angelina Ballerina with Emma

Happy children

anticipating a babysitter on Friday

Also it is my Dad's birthday, I believe he is 52 this year. I'm enjoying the very comfortable feeling of sincerely loving and missing him and all of our other parents in fact. I am thankful for all of our parents and I love that they love us and our kids. We are blessed.

I love the Holy Spirit

2006-06-01T17:26:00.000-07:00

The thing that is so awesome about the Holy Spirit (GOD) is that he is such a gentleman. And by that I mean that He is gentle. He does not yell, He is not sarcastic, He does not acuse or call names. He whispers, He points to things without saying a word. He puts His arm around your shoulder and quietly asks, "have you thought about this?" He tells you what to do and how to do it. He warns you, He corrects you, but only out of Love. What an amazing character. How could we not trust Him? If we open ourselves up to hear what He has to say we can trust that He will tell us the truth gently out of love. Isn't that reassuring? He has no ulterior motive, no desire to cut you down and hurt your feelings. He just wants you to be the best that God has for you. Best of all He is with you if you believe in Jesus. The Bible says that is is possible to quench Him, grieve Him and rebel against Him. Why would we want to do that when He is so good to us?

" So I say to you live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature." Galatians 5:16
" Search me God and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139:23-24

Summer Time

2006-05-29T05:43:00.000-07:00

There are several problems with living in a four season area of the world. One is that you have way more clothes than you have storage space. When I lived in Haiti I had one pair of pants and one long sleeved shirt which I wore on cold December nights when the temperature dropped to 60 or so. Everything else was always wearable. How simple. Secondly you have the problem of adjustment to the new temperatures. It never seems to happen gradually enough. One day it is hot and you wonder where you packed the shorts, do they need to be washed and will they still fit? In my case, though I found the shorts and they did not need to be washed, they do not fit and therefore I will have to go shopping. Beyond that of course there is the problem of your big hairy white legs sticking out beneath those shorts. Mine have a newly acquired spider vein courtesy of Josiah Daby in-utero. And why is it that toe nail polish chips after it's been on for about 30 minutes? Then there is the dilemma of bare feet versus sandals. In other words do I work at peticures to have nice sandal feet, or give it up and allow myself the indulgence of a bare foot summer?
On the other hand we are getting out the baby pool today for the kids and I look forward to their delighted squeals. Josh is going to grill our dinner, and we are putting in the garden this week. Besides living in a one season climate has it's draw backs too, like Christmas without snow. I don't understand that myself. Or how about enjoying a thanksgiving dinner without that certain snap in the air and a walk afterwards with hats and coats. It just wouldn't be the same.

Soap Box Again

2006-05-25T12:06:00.000-07:00

"Unless children are trained to recognize duty as more binding than inclination, they will suffer all their lives through from their lack of dicipline in this direction." H. Clay Trumbull, Hints on Child Training.

My friend Sarah loaned me this book and it is very encouraging. I like this quote particularly because it seems like so many people these days don't think about what they will have to do in life to survive. They just think about what they want to do, what sounds fun and nice. Well life is fun and nice, but it is also hard work and often times we don't get to do what we want to do, but what we have to do. My husband is a great example to me because he works very hard at a job he doesn't really love because we need the money and the benefits. Through prayer and discipline he has found a kind of satisfaction in his work, but it is a mature satisfaction, that of knowing you are providing for those you are responsible for, not that of being excited to go to work. Anyway, I want to teach my kids to be hard workers, not dreamers. There is a place for dreams and ideals, but I want my kids to work for those things and do what is right, not just what is easy and fun.

My Girl

2006-05-23T11:44:00.000-07:00

As I type this Emma is running back and forth across the guest bed beside me flailing her arms saying, "mommy, I dance!" Yesterday when we were cleaning her new purple room to get it ready for her furniture (today, praise the Lord) she was running in circles on the wood floor and fell right on her face. She came up screaming and covered in blood. Her teeth had cut her lip pretty deeply so I took her to the doctors. I was so scared she would need stiches. Thankfully he said she was OK and I was able to bring her home. She's been gorging herself on popsicles ever since. I am so thankful that she was OK. The doctor told me over the phone that if she needed stiches we would have to go to the emergency room because they didn't have the restraints needed for two year olds. That word "restraints" is a scary one. I'm hoping for a much less exciting day today, but with such an active little girl you never know.

The Struggle

2006-05-21T16:33:00.000-07:00

"Therefore as God's chosen people Holy and dearly loved, clothe yoursleves with commpassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievences you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3:12-14

It is hard to be motivated by love. How many things I do are truly motivated by love? I think more than when I was 20, but still I can decieve myself. I know because I get that uneasy feeling in my heart. I have come to realize that that feeling is the Holy Spirit feeling grieved. I hate that, I just want to live with peace in my heart, I hate the feeling of having gone out of God's will. It's like when Josh and I liked each other but we weren't dating and I would say something too forward, or do something to throw myself in his way, then I would feel so awful about it because I wanted to wait on the Lord. I would pray, Lord can you please fix this? Ofcouse he did but we didn't get married for three years and we had to work through our feelings about those three years for quite a while afterward. All that to say that when we don't listen to the Holy Spirit God can bring it back around but there are still consequences. These verses remind me that I need to operate out of compassion (For Emma when she pees her pants or unrolls all the toilet paper), Kindness (when Josh is tired and wants a specific meal for dinner), humility (when I think I know what's best for other people), gentleness (when telling people the truth) and patience (when things are not going the way I want). This passage tells me how to relate to others. I want to. Help me to walk in the Spirit Lord.

"Manje Lakay"

2006-05-17T17:18:00.000-07:00

Tonight I made a Haitian dinner for my family and I must say that my rice was perfect. The key is to use dry beans, the canned ones don't give the real flavor. I made plantains too, yummy, and avacodo. Maybe some of you aren't salivating as you read this, but that is because your taste buds just don't know. Well, I painted an awful lot of trim today and Josh fixed the bedroom floors, so if I can finish the trim tomorrow hopefully we can hang it and get these kids upstairs. My exciting thing this week is that my friend Lisa is coming over tomorrow and She will watch Anne of Green Gables for the first time! It is so exciting. I wish I could watch it for the first time again. Also I have to comment on my big survivor let down. I was really rooting for Terry. I was very dissapointed he didn't win, bt I will say that I don't think it was his fault. The only way he could have won would have been to stay on the lily pad and he was at a disavantage with Danielle who wieghs 12 pounds and Aras the Yoga guy. The big surprise for me was that Danielle thought she could beat either of them.

House Chaos

2006-05-15T16:46:00.000-07:00

We have been under construction for about two weeks now and there are many good lessons wrapped up in the chaos which has now become "normal." Josh's dad and grampa and he tore out our upstairs and insulated and sheet rocked it. I cannot say that the project is almost done exactly. Those of you who have been through this kind of process know that it probably won't be completely done until we move out of this house. The rooms are painted now though and "all" that remains is to paint the trim, hang it and move the kids in, also fix a part of Josiah's floor. Anyway, more interesting to me:
The kids and I spent a wonderful week with my mother in law and the kids while the guys were hard at work down here. We were hard at work too, don't get me wrong, keeping up with my beautiful and curious daughter is a full time job. Emma was so excited to be at Ima's house that she would not go to bed. She continuously got out and we would find her in the bathroom or on the stairs or getting into things in Elna's room. She colored herself regularly with pens and markers as she found them, She twice spilled the entire dish of sewing pins all over the floor, she dipped her hand and wash cloth into the toilet while "helping" to clean. She loved being allowed into Aunt Amber's room to "paint" with water or play with shells. She promptly fell irrevocably in love with uncle Micah (which I understand is quite common:) and followed Elna around like a little puppy. Elna was the funniest. She isn't used to toddlers and would come to me and say, "Liz did you want Emma to dump the pins on the floor? And such things. We all had a fabulous time though. (When I say we I mean me and my kids, Jody and her kids would have to give their own answer.) We are very glad though to be home now with Josh. I knew that Emma was starting to miss her daddy because she would get out the Mr Potato head, put glasses on it and say she was playing "daddy." (insert your own joke here) We really missed him.
As of now Josh and I are still sleeping in the living room and we finally split the kids up and put Josiah upstairs because they were sharing a room and not sleeping at all. Well I admit it, I am a control freak. When it comes to my kids I like schedules and predictability. I remember watching the footage of the people misplaced by hurricane Katrina and thinking I could never do that. My kids couldn't sleep on cots in a room with thousands of people. I had become so uptight about the way things had to be and I just needed to let go, so this project has been really good for me. I've realized that kids are more flexible that I am. They sleep when they get tired for the most part. I'm thankful that we are going to have bedrooms for each of the kids, but I was reminding myself the other day that
Haitians often have an entire family in one bedroom. So we are learning to be flexible. Speaking of Haiti, my father in law, Amber and Micah are going for a week and taking a team from their church. I am jealous. I'm so glad that I went though when I was free and single. I don't know when I'll be able to leave the country again. If anyone is reading this and is single and unencumbered let me encourage you to check out YWAM or the HAFF internship that I did or something, have an experience for yourself before you settle down. Let's have some richness of experience to offer our daughters (and sons, and husbands, and anybody) I'm glad I did.
I am now off of my encouragement soap box where I tell you how to live your lives, but in conclusion I would like to say that chocolate chip cookies are definitely of the Lord. Have a lovely night everyone.

Tartar Sauce

2006-04-26T11:43:00.000-07:00

What is Tartar sauce? I don't know. It is white though which reminds me of mayonaise, and for those of you who don't know me intimately- I despise mayonaise. I think it is the only thing that I really cannot eat. My hatred for it has been so extreme that it wasn't until I was in my late teens that I started to eat cream cheese and tolerate blue cheese dressing. I still don't like Ranch dressing or creamy Italian because they remind me of Mayonaise. Anyway, to please my husband we are having fried fish tonight with oven fries and coleslaw and because he is the condiment lover that he is, it will not be a complete meal without tartar sauce. Therefore when nap is over the children and I are going to Wegmans. We could use a walk anyway, it is sunny out thankfully! Today I bought a dress which I will most likely wear to Janice's wedding. It is very pretty, mint green- like my favorite ice cream. I think it is pretty. I can't call it sexy because it is mint green. Do you think you can look sexy in mint green? Not that I need to look sexy. Josh is DJing so I will be dancing alone (Bummer). I was very excited to marry Josh because I would always have someone to dance with at weddings. He says that he will admire me from behind the DJ table though.

Friday afternoon

2006-04-21T14:04:00.000-07:00

Tonight I am going to a young adults meeting as moral support for a friend. She's a new believer and I love her. New believers are so refreshing because they are so freshly thankful for Jesus. I found tap shoes for Emma at Salvation Army for $1. There have been no accidents today!!!! Emma colored her feet blue with marker, but it is washable.Josiah stuck his hand in the potty.

2006-04-20T12:09:00.000-07:00

pictures

2006-04-20T11:37:00.000-07:00

Here are some recent family happenings. Josiah and Baby Kate, The kids with their cousins Tristen and Drew, Emma exhibiting birthday presents.

nostolgia

2006-04-20T10:54:00.000-07:00

Hanging above my computer are two pictures of Josh and I taken on our honeymoon just over three years ago. We look so young and fresh and in love. Not that we aren't young, fresh and in love now, just a little more sleep deprived perhaps. Janice Ebel's wedding is a week from Saturday and I am so excited for her. I love weddings. I'm especially excited because I've been blessed to watch some of their relationship. It is so wonderful to watch two people commit their lives to each other. Sometimes I miss being the bride though. Now I'm the mom. I was realizing the other day that I now have everything I wanted out of life. My dream was to be a wife and mother. I don't mean to complain about where I am, I have the best husband that ever was (no offense to the rest of you ladies) and my children are adorable, smart and "spirited." I am satisfied with my life and I know that I will do other things besides this down the road. I hope to teach again someday, I think we'll have more children in a few years, I imagine we'll go back overseas too. It strikes me now though that I was unwise to have wasted some of my single years dreaming about my married years. Ofcourse when you are single you don't realize what a blessing it is to be responsible for only yourself, but believe me it is a unique and wonderful period in your life. I am thankful that God led me to go to Haiti alone. I felt at the time that it would be a life shaping experience and it was. I'm thankful that I will have that experience to share with my Emma when she is older. I guess my thesis is be thankful for where you are. Last week I would have laughed or cried at those word with a somewhat bitter spirit because Emma's naughtiness was getting me down. It's hard sometimes when older people say to me "Enjoy these years because they'll be gone before you know it," just like it was hard when I was single to hear people say "enjoy being single, before you know it the time will be gone." It's true though, we all know in our hearts that it's true. I asked my mom the other day if she missed having kids at home and she said, "well, I miss you, but I have other things I do now." There are so many phases of life and so many ways to serve the Lord in them that we would be fools to waste our time living in the past or the future. So thank you Lord for my kiddos, thank you that although I'm not a bride anymore I'm still my husband's crown. Help me to make the most of this time.

Also to the xanga people (Lori and Brietta) I'm reading your sites, but I can't comment. Just know that I'm thinking of you both and am blessed to keep up with your lives. Brietta, I am coming up in early May and we should get together at Jackie's for a play date. Jackie, I'm totally inviting people to your house, but I love you and I'll bring food:)

finally back online

2006-04-18T11:48:00.000-07:00

It has been so long since I posted! My mom and Chuck were here for several days and my kids have been keeping me up nights too. I think that I need more sleep than the average person! Why is it that our kids never seem as tired as we are? We had a wonderful visit with Mom and Chuck, they spoiled us beyond repair. They bought new clothes and toys for the kids, a second pack-n play and lots of groceries. Mostly though they entertained the kids and cleaned the house and I had some down time. It was so fabulous. I had several uninterupted quiet times, I went grocery shopping and clothing shopping, I took naps and I just realized that I haven't done any laundry or dishes since Friday. I miss mom! Chuck also brought a little table and chairs set for the kids that they found at a garage sale and he painted them primary colors. Emma is very excited. She has been behaving better, or else I'm just not so on edge now. I've been praying that the Lord would help me to know her love language and communicate with her effectively. Some people had said maybe she was pooping in bed because she wanted more attention and felt Josiah was getting it all. I think Josiah is in more danger of not getting enough attention, but he is a layed back little man and Emma is her father's daughter. I can see her lighting up a stage somewhere with dancing and wild theatrics! Josiah thinks that now that he's crawling and has four teeth he's twelve. He is urgently trying to stand up and always wants people to put him in a standing position so he can grab anything. Also today I was eating a rice krispie treat in front of him and he was so mad! He was actually resentful(you really can tell by the cry and facial expression) that I would offer him cherrios! The greatest part of the weekend was that Laura Ebel and I prayed deliverence for my mom and it was awesome! She really felt released from some things in her past and some generational bondages. I was so blessed to be part of it and even though I have already had deliverance prayer for myself, being with my mom was like a new level of freedom for me. I love her so much. I hope everyone had a happy easter!

I love Blogging!

2006-04-11T10:40:00.000-07:00

Hello again friends! I have been away from my blog for many days because Josiah is cutting three teeth at once and none of us are allowed to sleep until they're through. Poor little guy, he is so upset and clingy. Aside from the news of his teeth his other big news is that he started crawling! Look out! It is so crazy, he comes to get me when he wants me now. Before I continue I want to thank everyone for the ideas about playing with Emma, it was so wonderful. I really hadn't thought before about teaching a child to pretend. I guess I thought they would do it naturally, but now I see that she copies my pretending. It's cool because even though I did show her some without really thinking about it, now I can be more strategic in teaching her how to play. I put together a dress up bag for her with a bunch of jewlery and sunglasses from the salvation Army. She loves it. IN other news; due to much prayer and the reinstatement of the mini M&M reward, Emma is doing much better with the potty. I am thankful because with the lack of sleep we've been having potty issues become very large and frustrating.

Here is something exciting- a new family has started coming to our church and they have five children. The newest one is two days old because she had him after church on Sunday. I am thankful that Emma can have some little church friends. I am right now organizing a meal schedual for her. Meals is my job at church and I love it. I am realizing that it is the perfect role for me. I love making scheduals and food! I am looking forward to Easter this year because my mom and Chuck are coming or an extra long weekend which means help and free babysitting along with just being with them which is also nice:) And we are having a couple we know over for Easter dinner who don't know the Lord so I hope that we can share Christ with them. I got one of those Easter egg kits that open with little symbols of the easter story to tell the story with. It should be good. The only concern I have is Easter dinner. Last year mom and I made a big meal and it was alot of work. I'm trying to figure out how to make it less stressful for all since we have church in the morning and guests coming. I would love to know how all of you experienced hostesses handle this situation.

Thursday

2006-04-06T18:01:00.001-07:00

I am feeling pretty good right now because my kids are asleep, my house is picked up and I just watched survivor. I am disapointed that Danielle and Bruce didn't go with Terry and Sally though. Does anyone else feel a secret shame that they watch these silly shows like survivor and the apprentice and american idol? Sometimes I'm emmbarrassed to admit that I watch survivor. I don't know why, it isn't evil or anything, just silly. This afternoon I felt like I was going a little stir crazy and I needed to get away from my little darlings. It is difficult when I feel that way because I don't know who to call so I can run out for an hour. Sometimes I dream that someone(I know and trust) would show up at my door and say, "I just felt that you needed some time off, go out for a while and I'll watch the kids!" But anyway, I finally decided that it was worth six dollars to get out of here for a while and I called a former student of mine to come watch the kids for an hour. If you don't have kids than I can't make you understand what it means to leave your house with no diaper bag or children. It takes 2 minutes to get out the door instead of twenty. I went shopping at goodwill. It was wonderful and I found a Winnie the Pooh blanket for Emma and a nice copy of Little Men which I highly recommend if you haven't read it. I can't wait until my kids are older and we can read those books together. I want to play Mrs. Shakespear-smith with Emma. Tomorrow Josh is playing a gig in Geneva and the kids and I are going to Oneida to visit my Aunt Linda (Marcia's sister). I'm looking forward to it because Emma will have a playmate all day who is older and bigger and therefore I won't have to protect said playmate from her exuberance. Poor baby Kate struggled with Emma's enthusiasm for her today. I have two poll questions I would like to ask tonight if it isn't too personal. (If it is than ignore me please) The first is how much does your family spend on groceries per month? My budget says $250, but I spend more like $275. I feel like it keeps going up and up, and my kids keep eating more and more. It's shocking how much milk and cheese and fruit we go through around here. The second is how much TV do your kids watch. I am afraid to admit that mine watch at least 1 hour of videos each day. They don't watch regular TV because we only get three channels. I find that it is hard to fill a whole day with a toddler without it. If anyone has ideas for activities for two year olds pass them along.

frustration

2006-04-04T17:04:00.000-07:00

There is something about a two year old covered in poop that challenges all of your spiritual thoughts for the day. Last week I was about to pronounce her potty trained, but this week is like a never ending flood of... well you know. Today's second episode was the one that did me in. We were sitting at dinner (Josh wasn't here) and I just wanted to enjoy my meal. It was a most unwelcome interuption. Anyway, more than the actual mess, what frustrates me is how angry I feel. Does anyone else ever feel like they are literally boiling over? I need a time out more than Emma does. Anyway, she is cute and I'm thankful for her.
Things I liked about today:

Emma and I snuggled and watched Bear in the big blue house and she put her arms around my neck and kissed me.
eating strawberries (on sale at Wegmans, 2 for $3)
eating avacados
We went to Josh's work and saw him for lunch
I watched Fever Pitch (I like that movie, Drew Barimore is so cute)

So many of my thanks are for food:)

Attack and Exhortation

2006-04-02T17:22:00.000-07:00

Dad and Marcia were here with us for part of the weekend. I was so thankful to have some help. I must confess that I am envious of people who have parents nearby when they are raising small children. I am so thankful for the Ebels, and Matt and Marion have moved to Rochester as well, but in the end it is easier to lean on family than anyone else. Josh and I went to Home Depot and grocery shopping by ourselves on Saturday morning and it was so wonderful.
One of the things that has been on my mind recently is spiritual attack. In my own family it has been Josh having migrains and breaking guitar strings during worship. He hasn't been feeling well and it is hard for him to press through and lead the church in worship. Last Sunday he broke a string for the second time and had to lead worship accappella. During the sermon he ran home for another guitar and then when he was closing the service the migrain came on and his arm began to feel numb so he couldn't play right. It has been discouraging for him. I have realized that one part of my personality is that I am passive. I hate conflict and when anyone comes against me my natural reaction is to cow myself in a corner and feel sorry for myself, or else try to appease the person. I can't have this attitude when Satan is attacking my family. It is so hard to fight though, I am so tired and I would rather feed and console my flesh than stand up and combat the enemy. The Lord is showing me to stop being so weak and tired, I have to stand up and fight for my family. So I decided to fast Sunday mornings until church is over for protection for Josh as he's leading worship. This morning was the first Sunday and the Lord blessed it. I'm thankful to say that worship was annointed and my husband felt supported spiritually. Fasting is one of the strong weapons we have to fight the enemy. I must say that I hate to fast. I love to eat. I have a high metabolism and I'm nursing. But there are ways that I can fast and press in to the Lord. When we fast and pray we unleash the power of the Holy Spirit in a stronger way to open our eyes to what is happening in the Spirit. We can see where we are yielding to the enemy instead of God, we can draw nearer to his heart without the distraction of our flesh, we are in essense mortifying our flesh so that our spirit can become more alive. Let's all take advantage of this weapon of warfare.

The other thing that I have been thinking of is (again) people who are not hooked into a church body in a complete way. Josh and I are very close right now with several people in this situation. The thought I keep coming to is that if you know the Lord then you have the Holy Spirit living inside you and therefore you have the ability through His strength to do what is right. The reason we still sin is because we choose to do what is wrong. I have been thinking we can choose to involve ourselves in a church body or we can choose not to. We can choose to build relationships or we can choose not to. It is frustrating to me because I love these people and I want what is best for them, but there is only so much I can do, they must choose to come into fellowship. I don't mean at all that they don't love the Lord or that they won't go to Heaven, but I do think that they are forfieting a good deal of the abundant life Christ came to give them. It makes me sad. I thought of an idea. What if those of us who are feeling lonely in the church or unconnected just walked up to a godly woman in the church, swallowed our pride and fear and said- "Hey, I admire you, would you mind if I came and visited you some time and tried to learn from you how to be a more Christ like woman?" It's true she might say no, but if she doesn't you are on your way to a real relationship that could profoundly affect your spiritual walk. The question is do we want to grow, do we want to expand our outlook? I say YES! I hope you do too!

In close, a poop annecdote, Emma used her potty chair yesterday and when she stood up she looked in her potty and said, "a snake mommy!"

Blessed Wednesday

2006-03-30T11:51:00.000-08:00

Josh says I ought to name my blog the poop chronicles instead of Zandolit since most of my updates are about that interesting topic and how it relates to my children. I will not bore you (or gross you out) with more than a small anecdote. Yesterday when I went upstairs to get Emma from her nap I found her naked because she had peed in her pants and then taken them off ofcourse, because they were wet. I put more pants on her but no underwear because those are downstairs. I told her to read quietly in her bed until it was time to get up! After a few minutes I heard her crying "mommy, poop!" I could smell it as I climbed the stairs. I found her again naked, and covered from the waist down. The carpet and potty seat were copiously annointed. She had gone in her pants and then tried unsuccessfully to clean it up. Thank God for grace!

Now for my more serious thoughts. Yesterday we went and visited a woman in our church who broke her leg two months ago and has been house bound ever since. She is an excellent woman and I really like being around her. We had a great visit. I am so thankful for the way the Lord is building relationships for me in my church body. I cannot take credit for it, because I see that he is the one who leads (pushes and pulls) me to meet people and get to know them. As I write that I am thinking of the verse that says " Do not be like the horse or the mule which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you." It's psalm 32:9, I just looked it up. That is what I am like sometimes in regards to building relationships. The Lord has called me to a church, he says invest, give, reach out. But it is so much easier to stay home, pout and feel sorry for myself. I have looked for offense and held grudges and I am sorry. I realize now that I was the one who was wrong. I went into church expecting no one to understand me and everyone to meet my needs. God has been very merciful to me. I'm realizing that if I want to be mature I need to let people know me, I need to get to know them. It is time to grow and change and mature, and afterall isn't that what I want? To be more like Christ, to look for the good in others, to overlook offense humbly and forgive? Yes I want these things. I don't want to feel sorry for myself, what a sad and small place to be! I'm thankful that God doesn't get as annoyed with me as I get with others. It is humbling to see where he has brought me from. I hope that he will help me to be more like Him this year.

My beautiful family

2006-03-28T18:53:00.000-08:00

So here are my children on March 4th, Emma's 2nd birthday. You know they're adorable! We took Emma to an indoor playground at the mall which she liked, but the biggest attraction of her two year old exsistence was the escalator. She rode it over and over with her daddy saying "I want fly!" (Notice also Micah's 80's bass player pose in the background, he looks like he belongs in the Police or something- Roxanne!) Anyway I love my family.

2006-03-28T18:36:00.000-08:00

2006-03-28T06:07:00.000-08:00

I love Tuesday!

2006-03-28T05:45:00.000-08:00

Goodmorning friends! It is hard not to feel encouraged when I am sitting alone in the morning enjoying a few minutes to myself. Emma is having "quiet time" on the couch watching Bear in the Big Blue House and Josiah is napping. Josh came home from church on Sunday with a migraine and was home yesterday too, but is feeling better today. He's been trying to drink lemon water because he read in above rubies that it would help make him more alkaline. They also suggested eating millet but he doesn't care about his health THAT much :) I used to eat millet in Haiti all the time but you had to be careful of little rocks in it. I chipped my tooth that way. Anyway, I digress. Last night we had more bed issues and I am thinking of moving Josiah's crib out of the nursery and into our room for now. He never gets to sleep easily because of Emms's craziness and the discipline going on. Last night, after much crying and frustration I had moved him downstairs to the pack and play and then I was picking up the rest of the house. I happened to glance up at the vent into Emma's room and saw that the light was on. I found her naked and emptying her drawers because she wanted a shirt.

Anyway, I intend to go outside today, I love sunshine! My crocus are blooming and my other bulbs are shooting up everywhere. Praise the Lord for Spring!

2006-03-26T16:25:00.000-08:00

I would be lying if I did not own that parenting Emma Daby is at times frustrating. My beautiful daughter turned two at the begining of the month and immediately turned up the speed and attitude dials on her little personality. Today I pulled a comb and a kazoo out of the VCR. I've been keeping a list in her baby book of the things I've taken out of the VCR in the past few months, because I am sure that in ten years it will be very funny. She also refuses to stay in her big girl bed. We got it for her in January because my poor son was sleeping in the pack and play. I had him in a cradle which I thought would last him a good long while, unfortuatley for me he grew like godzilla. That was the problem with the pack and play. 20 pounds is alot of weight to lift at that angle so many time a day and my back was bothering me. So we got a bed and put him in the crib. For the first month she would stay right where she was put like a perfect little angel. I would tuck her in, kiss her little halo and walk away knowing she would soon be fast asleep. I even took the gate off the door since she seemed so trust worthy. I should have known it was too good to last. Tonight I went back up to discipline her 7 times. She likes to lie on the floor under the bed with her face at the vent to try and see what is happening down here. She goes to peek at her brother and wakes him up by throwing toys in his bed. Last night Josh found her in our room with the light on putting on my lipstick. She is also obsessed with lipstick and perfume and those little dentle floss wands. She has to touch everything. She wrestles Josiah and bear hugs him and kisses him like she intends to knock him down with her lips. She takes away any toys he wants to play with and gives hime toys and food that he shouldn't have. My poor baby was hapilly eating a pile of crayons she gave him this morning and he was so mad when I took them away. Ofcourse I love her, and ofcourse once she is in bed all of this is entertaining to some degree, but boy am I tired. I guess the Lord is trying to teach me to pray. Give me mercy and self control Lord!

2006-03-25T16:27:00.000-08:00

Today was a very nice Saturday. I led our churches ladies Bible study. Our church has been going for almost two years now and Josh and I have been there from the start. It has been a very difficult period of growth for us but for me especially. I'm so thankful now though because I am finally starting to feel at home in our church. It was hard for me because the church we came from was really like a family to me. I lived with the pastor's family for several months, they ministered to me when I came home from Haiti and they saw Josh and I get married. Also I had some friends my age there and in the same situation. Our new church is quite different. The biggest difficulty for me was feeling misunderstood because I was the youngest woman and I was the only one with a baby, and then two babies when Josiah was born. One of the biggest things I've learned is that I need to look at the church and think about what I can offer and not what I can recieve. The Lord showed me that I had a selfish view of church and I needed to learn how to serve others as well as be served. The Bible study is the thing that has helped me the most. I wonder if most people who are unhappy in their churches are people who don't participate and build relationships outside of their Sunday service? I was going to church on Sunday (and spending most of it distracted by my kids) and not going to cell group (because of kids) or anything else. Finally we began this study and Josh said he would watch the kids for me. It is twice a month. This is the second month and I already feel more connected and a part of our church body. I am starting to have relationships with the other ladies and it has completely changed my outlook on the church. I'm so thankful because the point of church is not just worship and a sermon, but to be connected with our brothers and sisters. I'm also thankful because I'm learning so much from these older ladies who have much more experience than I do. Last Sunday I walked into church and I thought, I love these people. What a relief! Thank you Lord for turniing my heart around.
....On a less serious note... I have come to a very surprising conclusion that Mr. Darcy isn't my ideal Jane Austin man, I like Mr. Knightly better. We all know that deep down Mr. Darcy was a good guy, and there was something so alluring in his reservedness, but I love Mr. Knightly's kindness to others and his rational thoughts and actions.

Mornings

2006-03-24T05:31:00.000-08:00

I am extremely tired this morning. At two last night Emma called me. When I went in she said she needed to blow her nose. My poor girl was all stuffy and coughing. I got her a drink and a tissue and got back in bed but for the next hour she called me every ten minutes. Finally in an effort to get some sleep I got in bed with her. She was so excited with this new situation that she spent the next hour trying to find a comfortable way to snuggle me while touching my nostrils and eyes. Finally I told her to go to sleep and I went back to my own bed. At 6 she started crying and I ignored her for a few minutes. Josh went to see what was going on when we heard her out of bed and he found that she had pooped her pants and in an effort to clean herself up had gotten it all over the carpet and her legs. After we got the situation under control we all sat down to eat breakfast since we were up early. Josh brought out his guitar and led us in some worship. It was very refreshing. I'm thankful for the way he ministers to me. At first I was annoyed because I wanted to eat breakfast and be in a bad mood. (it's sad but true) He sang this song called Hosanna by Paul Baloche, it says "when we see you we find strength to face the day," so my hope is renewed and I look forward to that strength. I don't like this about myself but something I really struggle with is being unfair to my husband. When he isn't home and I'm thinking about how good God is to me I realize that Josh is his special gift to me. Aside from ofcourse his salvation, Josh has been his most powerful instrument of healing in my life. Through him I have begun to really understand the love of the father. When I think about that I resolve to be so good to him and tell him how wonderful he is, but then when he comes home I am stressed out and I get annoyed at him and then I'm not as good to him as I meant to be. I'm so immature, it is extremly frustrating.

Its Working!

2006-03-23T17:54:00.000-08:00

hurray this thing is finally working!! My dear JAckie has helped me to begin this exciting blog experience. Today was not my favorite day of the week. It started out well, Emma and Josiah and I went to Sarah Ovaska's for lunch. Emma was so thrilled to see baby cake (Kate Ovaska). We all had a very nice time together and I am thankful that Sarah is so understanding of Emma's being two, although I'm sure she breathed a sigh of relief when we left. When we got home the kidos went down for their naps and that is my cue to curl up for a quiet time and then chill until they wake up at three. This is where the day went off course. I was feeling very sleepy and slightly hungry so instead of getting my bible right away I got a snack and curled up with Jane Austin's wonderful novel, Emma. I told myself I would only read for 15 minutes, but Mr. Elton's marriage had just been announced and it seemed the Frank Churchill was finally coming to Highbury. Anyway I read and read and then fell asleep until I heard Emma calling me. The problem I now see is that I need that time with the Lord each day. I used to do faithful and long devotions every day out of guilt. I won't say that the Lord didn't bless them, but I had this picture in my head of Jesus waiting for me and feeling rejected if I didn't show. Now I know that I am the one missing out if I don't dicipline myself to come into his presence. UNfortunately my poor family has to suffer through a less patient and cheerful mom and wife also. So tomorrow I will do better. I'm thnkful to the Lord today though for my husband and my kids,they are a treat. and also for girl friends like Jackie and Sarah, you guys make me feel loved.